When we want to leave our mark in a meeting, be remembered at a networking event or start building the foundations of a new work partnership all too often we feel a need to speak rather than listen.

We get our elevator pitch ready.

We make our products or services relevant to those we are talking to.

We may have finessed our vision and how this will help others.

All these are great and should help you leave your mark and be remembered.

But this approach can seem a bit egotistical.

Sometimes the situation requires you to be a little less ‘salesy’. A bit less in their face and transactional. A bit more likeable.

A proven way to do this is by being interested in the other person.

The easy way to do this: ask them questions.

Follow one question up with another. Really try to find out what makes them happy, what are they working on, what are they struggling with…

I have noticed a trend – it seems to be a London tech thing – where people start a meeting with a pre-prepared and slightly jarring question. Recent examples being, “what is filling you with energy at the moment?” and “what’s the best project you’ve worked on this year?”.

This approach may make you memorable but not for the right reasons. These questions did not set the right tone. It made the subsequent conversations awkward.

Instead start general before getting specific.

Be conversational rather than confrontational.

Use open questions that allow the responder to take the conversation where they want (this is a great way to build trust with someone).

And, above all else, ask questions the other person is actually going to enjoy answering.

That way you will make a connection and be memorable.

By being interested, you will be interesting.