You are meeting someone for the first time and desperately want them to buy into your idea. You might be tense and nervous, they may be preoccupied with other work.
How do you begin the meeting?
One way would be to be interesting. Provide a tidbit of information that they will remember (called a STAR moment – Something They Always Remember).
Another way is to make sure the person you are meeting is comfortable with you.
Why is this important?
When people are comfortable around you, they trust you and are more likely to listen to what you are saying.
If they listen to what you are saying – as long as what you are saying is good – they will buy into your idea, buy your product or take the action you want them to.
One easy technique is to use a well-worn clichéd conversation starter to create a sense of shared experience and to build a connection quickly.
This might be subjects like the weather, traffic or trains, last night’s television, the weekend just gone or a recent sporting event.
Sharing a lift, climbing the stairs or walking to a meeting room in silence creates a level of awkwardness that can be tough to move away from.
As well as creating a comfortable atmosphere before you get onto the reason for your meeting there are other advantages.
For example, too many automatically lapse into professional dialect and jargon when they speak. So, by starting off talking in a normal, everyday kind of way you can set the tone for the rest of your meeting.
When I’m running a workshop for a client I haven’t met before I happily fall into the well-worn subject areas mentioned above (particularly if I have run the gauntlet of Northern Rail).
Once I am coaching, presenting or facilitating then I will shift gears to provide the advice my client needs.
What I have found is that investing in a little bit of clichéd small talk can go a long way to making sure my advice is listened to.
I have seen senior leaders in business and politics unable to ‘pass the time of day’ creating unnecessary tension and barriers to good communication.
Preparation for important meetings can sometimes leave us too focussed on ‘putting on a performance’.
Being normal and making others comfortable before that performance can be crucial to getting the result we want.