40 years ago, the 3rd Battalion, the Parachute Regiment (3 PARA) attacked Mount Longdon, one of the heavily defended mountains surrounding Port Stanley, the capital of the Falkland Islands.
In a foreword to 3 Days In June, which brings to life this battle in vivid, compelling and at times harrowing detail, Major General Jonathan Shaw – a young Lieutenant in 1982 who fought in the battle – explains how “we had no idea this was to be a defining moment in all our lives.”
While I’ve been reading this wonderful tribute to the men who fought and died, I’ve suffered a few disappointments that came in quick succession and built up a feeling that I was stuck in a bit of a rut.
Individually each disappointment seems ridiculously inconsequential, particularly in the context of events four decades ago, but I’m aware of the statistics of depression in 40-something men (being one myself) so have been pondering why a collection of small pieces of bad news, setbacks and disappointments left me feeling so down in the dumps.
I’m a great believer that life is all about collecting moments - whether they are good or bad or, as General Shaw describes, those that come to define you. As I say to the football team I coach, ‘learn from your failures as well as your successes’. This way the highs and lows are part of your journey instead of just measures of whether a goal has been met or not.
Psychologists studying employees in large companies have found that lasting satisfaction comes with progress and a feeling that they are moving forward with meaningful work instead of a focus on achieving big, headline grabbing goals.
Researchers have also concluded that success that is the result of gradual progression is more meaningful, the feeling of elation deeper but also, crucially, longer lasting. That said, it is surprisingly common for Olympic athletes to feel empty, lost and even depressed in the wake of their success which can be explained by putting too much focus on one big day in the future rather than achieving regular (if considerably smaller) victories on their journey to an Olympic Games.
3 PARA had the goal of winning the battle for Mount Longdon and ultimately the war but progress – getting through the next few minutes alive, reaching the relative safety of some rocks to shelter behind, or saving the life of a mate – was more important to the individual soldier than these goals. It was the moments that added up to eventual progress and ultimate success that mattered.
Of course, big hairy audacious goals (such as delivering the COVID-19 vaccines) are good – they motivate teams and get people to coalesce with real purpose - but it will be the journey to achieving the goal that will provide the satisfaction and the happiness.
For my part, I’ve had a month or so when I haven’t been enjoying the journey which has happened every now and again over my nearly 12 years working for myself. I have put in place daily and weekly targets that help me to demonstrate to myself that I am still making progress, as well as celebrating a couple of recent moments that are far from life defining but, on the day, mattered.
If you focus on the moment, progress will follow, even if that moment could be classed at the time as a ‘failure’. Then when a long-term goal is successfully secured it will not define you as you’ve already been defined by the moments that have made up your journey.