I see every day how self-awareness is a game-changer for people wanting to improve their communication and stand out.
And I often talk of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes or seeing the world through their eyes before you can properly engage that other important person.
But going even deeper than this is sometimes necessary.
I like the concept of Umwelt, developed by Estonian Jakob von Uexkull over a hundred years ago.
Umwelt is the idea that we all live in our own subjective worlds. This is a world only we experience made up of what we see, hear, smell, taste and perceive. To truly understand the experience of another person we must step inside their umwelt ‘bubble’.
An example from working life. A meeting to agree next steps on an important project has over-run. The senior leader is frustrated at the lack of progress so suggests everyone works though lunch as it will be another week before they can all be in the same room together.
One team member is angry, fails to notice the leader’s frustration and their input noticeably drops, as they skipped breakfast, and their attention has been captured by the scent of the doughnut shop wafting in through the open window.
A second team member is energised and motivated to alleviate the frustration they share so offer up new ways of working, plus they did not skip breakfast and cannot smell the doughnuts so are not hungry, and are also keen to take a day off next week.
To successfully step inside another person’s umwelten you could try colour coding their objects or subjects of interest almost like examining the world with an infra-red camera. To do this 100 per cent accurately you would need 100 per cent information about the other person which will never be possible.
But by taking time to get to know those you work with, your clients or other people you want to connect better with then you will know that Mark in accounts is grumpy on a Tuesday morning as he is tired from Monday night 5-a-side football or that Sandra is super-focussed on a Thursday afternoon as she leaves on time to make sure she can take her children swimming.
Of course, understanding how you are reacting to the world around you will also be hugely beneficial. You might be well prepared and hyper-focused for an important pitch but, just as your potential client arrives in reception, your mind wanders as the sight and smell of the cut flowers on the reception desk remind you of your wedding bouquets.
The ability to step inside the umwelt ‘bubble’ of another person is not a test of whether someone is a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ communicator but will help you understand the other person far better which then becomes the foundation for your communication.
The ability to understand how and why you are reacting to the world around you will allow you to take your communication and amplify it to another level.