Is that you? Is that how you lead?
I hope not.
Particularly in tough times.
Do you expect your team to “choose their mood” yet habitually ignore this advice yourself?
A deal lost. A pitch lost. A client lost…
How do you react to these situations that hit your bottom line, not just your team’s morale?
What about the less important moments like someone being late for a meeting with you (not acceptable), a poorly run meeting, or your computer crashing and IT offering nothing more than “turn it off and back on again”?
All of these situations are frustrating and could cause you to feel angry.
Losing a big client is never good. A computer that fails you at a significant moment can get the heart racing for the wrong reasons.
How you react to these situations can set the tone in how your team communicates, the culture you build, and also what kind of team you lead.
But recommending being ice cold and uncaring or appearing removed from the situation (which is what “choose your mood” often means) is simply wrong.
All teams need to know their leaders have emotions.
All leaders need to know that a large part of leadership is putting on a performance.
But there should be no disconnect between the two.
Putting on a performance is not being inauthentic.
When things go wrong, be angry. When things go well, be excited.
But whichever situation, always think about how this affects your team and what needs to happen next.
Evaluate what has happened. Acknowledge what has gone well and less well. Help your team to know how this situation will help them in the future.
Knowing your – and your team’s - mood rather than hiding from it should give you extra energy in good times and bad.
How you react, the emotions you show, the way you communicate will determine if this energy is good or bad for your team.
The good leaders I have worked with are able to use the big moments to reinforce their leadership story, not undermine it.
They do this by putting on a performance but also knowing that being human is an important part of this too.