This is a question I ask as part of a detailed self-assessment questionnaire and in-person follow up session with new clients.
It is a hugely useful tool for me to better connect with clients and then to help them to communicate better.
Ultimately, if I was working with you, the aim is to improve your self-awareness; how you think about yourself and help you recognise how you are perceived by others.
It has been proven that those with higher levels of self-awareness are higher performers with their performances also being more sustainable.
As a Liverpool football fan of over 40 years, I was heartened to see head coach, Arne Slot, talk about the importance he puts on communication in his job and that he spends more time thinking about communication, and how is going to influence the players, than he does on tactics.
He summarised his thinking like this, “What am I going to say tomorrow to get them going again? Sometimes I need to be hard on them, sometimes I have to give them compliments. That is where my thoughts are 99% of the time.”
So not only is he purposely using his thinking time to focus on communication, but he is very specific that he must find the right ways to engage all his players.
By being deliberate with his communication, Slot will be able to connect more deeply and really hone his communication so it is right for everyone in the squad.
It would be easy to dismiss this example, perhaps satisfying yourself that this is elite level sport and professional athletes have the right mentality so will be easier to connect with or influence. Certainly, psychology is a crucial element supporting the performances of athletes across most top sports and sports teams today.
But, even if we accept that Liverpool’s footballers are open to support from their coaches and others to continually improve their performances, Arne Slot is still investing a vast amount of his time to make sure that his communication has the biggest impact possible.
What about your team or those around you who you need to engage with and connect with before you can get the best possible performance from them?
How much of your time do you invest in thinking about how you communicate?