We all know we are more likely to do a favour for someone we like or trust. This has also been proven by psychological studies too.
With this in mind, isn’t it strange the way some people in leadership positions act towards others?
Too often leaders feel they need to be seen to dominate an organisation, make people feel subordinate to them or act slightly removed from their team.
Equally, I see lots of people failing to communicate because they are not talking to their audience at the right level. They make no attempt to be liked or gain people’s trust.
Think about the leaders we are willing to do a bit more or work harder for. They are the ones we have a genuine affinity for, those we like and trust as well as respect because of their position in an organisation.
Think about a time you’ve been blown away by a speech or presentation.
I imagine the content was spot on, persuasive and relevant to you but would also bet that the person speaking was likeable, approachable and communicated in a warm friendly way.
Finally, think about famous leaders and good communicators in the public eye.
Those we are drawn to will, more often than not, also be warm and approachable. If we look at the US presidents of the past 40 years, most – Reagan, Clinton, Bush II, Obama – all shared these attributes.
You can imagine going to the pub or having a cup of tea with them. All were two-term presidents.
A technique used to coach aspiring actors is to ask them to apply a scale between 1 and 10 to the character they are playing, with 1 being most submissive and 10 being most dominant.
If you want to be liked and trusted what number would you aim for? If you want your communication to be well received where on the scale do you want to be?
If you want to be approachable and warm – neither talking down to your audience or bowing and scraping to them then aim for a 5.
This is true whether you want to build a connection with a group of people quickly, so they will take the action you want, or if you need to inspire a team to work for you over a longer period.
Remember people want to be spoken to as equals.
Use this simple technique to perform, communicate and lead.